Y’all aren’t going to believe me when I say this — but being engaged was a very stressful and overwhelming season of life. (Hear me out, please)
Yes, yes, I know. We all dream of it. The gorgeous diamond sparkling on our finger, the idea of planning a wedding, the anticipation of what marriage brings, spending forever with your best friend. It all seems so perfect! I know I was guilty of having this mindset when I knew marriage and engagement was approaching: “Once I have that ring on my finger, life will be so much easier, ______” You can fill in the blank and change up the wording a bit, but I know I was not the only one feeling that way. It is a very easy lie to buy into that once we’ve wished away our current season and reached the next season (being engaged), then I’ll be happy and ____ will be all better. I’m not here to be a dream crusher by any means! Yes, being engaged is SO HAPPY, SO full of JOY, and brings you closer to your soon-to-be hubs in a way you didn’t know existed.
But your season of engagement wasn’t designed to be fruitless … and I’m not talking diets or wedding planning here. I’m talking about our hearts. How we are equipping and preparing ourselves to be a Godly wife for our future husband? It’s very easy to get caught in the stress in the lies that erupt while we’re wedding planning, all while still working a full-time job, visiting family members, being involved in your church, and so much more. I know personally for me, once that ring was on my finger, the floodgates opened in my mind for lies like:
“What if he ends up wanting to divorce me?”
“Will I still fit into my wedding dress in 6 months?”
“What if I’m terrible at sex?”
“My wedding is going to look so tacky because my centerpieces are DIY. People are going to laugh at me.”
“His family doesn’t even like me. How am I going to handle that for the next forever?”
“This is too stressful for me to handle, I’m just going to give up now while I’m ahead.”
… and so many more. BUT, what if instead of thinking these fruitless thoughts that cause division… what if I was replacing them with the truth of the Bible? What if I started memorizing verses that I would speak over myself and my future marriage? Reminding myself of the truths of the Scripture was the ONLY way to combat these lies and now 3 years into marriage, I’m so thankful many of these verses come flooding into my mind when different situations arise. So here are the 10 verses every bride should memorize before her wedding day:
1. “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back – to – back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – New Living Translation
This is a verse that floods my mind often, in many different situations. But I especially find it helpful when Ben and I are going through a trial or something really hard. Many couples use this idea of a triple-braided cord as their unity symbol during their ceremony on their wedding day. This triple-braided cord represents Christ as the center being woven throughout the strand, while the other two strands represent the husband and the wife. As a Christian couple, with Christ always at the center and being our foundation, together we have access to the love, compassion, power, mercy, grace, guidance, and wisdom of God. A marriage reflecting the triple-braided cord can face trials and adversities without fear because we know and have experienced these qualities of God. The marriage intertwined with Christ will not easily be broken or torn apart. It will grow stronger as you tap into the love of God.
2. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” – Philippians 4:8
I like to think of this as the “heart-aligning” verse. Anytime you’re listening to those lies in your head, feeling worried or anxious, this verse helps to align our hearts with the things above and to put out that wildfire of lies seeping into our minds. I wrote this verse onto a Post-It note and placed it on my mirror so that I would reflect on those words and engrain them into my brain… it worked. Anytime I’m struggling to remember any other verses, this one I’m always able to recall. I just start saying “honorable… just… pure… lovely…” and setting my sights and thoughts on those things.
3. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6-7
Say it louder for the people in the backkkkk! Oh this verse is my anthem song. Anxiety and worry are things that have always plagued my life to a point of being sinful. Having this verse in my arsenal during our engagement season and now in our marriage, is a game changer. Knowing that rather than being anxious about the little things or worried about all of the wedding planning, I could call on the Lord in prayer and that would result in peace — it’s so comforting. Speaking from personal experience, God’s peace truly does surpass all understanding. It helps to guard your heart (see ya later anxiety) and focus our minds just like the Scripture says it will. Scream this one from the mountaintops friends!
4. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Did you just read the first four words and then skip to the end? Okay me too … but REALLY. Stop what you’re doing, stop reading until you’ve gone back and read each and every word and let it sink in. I know these verses are used in an iffy context all too often, so it’s hard to really let them have an impactful meaning on our hearts. But guys, these verses are a literal guidebook to relationships… not just our marriage relationship. These words are the definition of love the way God intended it to be. Not our cultural interpretation of when things get messy because (fill in the blank here.) No. It’s the unconditional, overwhelming, never-ending, wreckless love of God described to us in words. These verses created a pivotal point for our marriage last year in which we both needed to reconcile and love in this way. This scripture reminds us of how we should love regardless of circumstances.
5. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” — Ephesians 5:22-24
I consider this verse as one of the best ways to be a Godly wife. Many people will read this verse and view it in a negative way — like the husband just gets to sit back, relax, boss around his wife, and we’re just expected to submit and do what our men say. Which couldn’t be further from the truth of what the Scripture is really saying. This verse isn’t a power trip for our husbands. We’re writing another blog post on this one later, but God designed both men and women differently, and we’re called (as wives) to submit to our husbands as the leader because that is the way God designed it to be. We have a different role in the dance as the wives, but just remember to give your man some grace. If we are called to submit to our husbands, “as to the Lord” that is one HARD job for Ben. He must be grounded in Christ in order to provide leadership that is wise, patient, loving, and trustworthy.
6. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8
Does anyone else have a hard time forgiving sometimes? Not even just forgiveness even, what about the fruits of unforgiveness? Like bitterness or resentment? Personally, I struggle with fully forgiving and sometimes will harbor bitterness in my heart — especially towards my hubs. But this verse always reminds me that LOVE is what will right the wrongs and mend the broken and hurt in our relationship. We shouldn’t be seeking justice, we should be seeking GRACE which results in love.
7. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10:9
Ben and I both have always been in agreement that divorce is NEVER an option for us. And not just divorce. We both have boundaries of not sleeping in separate rooms due to anger, separating for any reason, and many others. We don’t want any sort of separation in our marriage to give Satan a foothold to tear us apart in any way. We always remember this verse knowing that GOD has brought us together and there is nothing anyone can do to separate us. We have the full armor of God and can be prepared for battle when external forces seek to divide our marriage. We are on the same team (another blog post coming soon!).
8. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6
There are so many times in life when we may not understand or can’t see the full picture God is painting. This scripture reminds us that we don’t need to understand, we shouldn’t be trying to rely on our understanding — we should be fully putting our trust in the Lord, submitting to him in every way, so that our hearts are aligned with His straight path.
9. “… For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control.” — 1 Corinthian 7:3-5
There will be days when you may not feel like having sex. Long days at work, emotional stressors, and so many other factors contribute to this, but this scripture urges us to not give in. Sex acts as a major bonding agent (when in the correct context of a healthy marriage relationship) between a husband and wife. It’s the way God designed it to be and it’s something that can’t be replicated. There are certain times in life where we may feel we need to abstain from sex like pregnancy/postpartum, health issues, etc. but this verse instructs us to be devoted in prayer during this “limited” time.
10. PROVERBS 31
Yep, the whole dang chapter. If that is too daunting, I would encourage you to take a few of the verses out of the chapter that you feel apply to your relationship or what you admire most, and devote yourself to memorizing those. The whole chapter of Proverbs 31 really helped me to focus on ME, who I wanted to be as a wife and my personal relationship with God — rather than focusing on the Godly man I wanted.